Today, whilst driving, I have seen many single magpies. My ex used to always salute and say “Good morning Mr Magpie” to it as we passed, seeing them made me smile as I remembered the past. I felt almost obliged to do the same as I drove along.
I like that now I am becoming able to think of things and smile, the pain not as bad as it once was. I’ve moved on to the next stage of the breakup, through the anger and out to the nice memories. I hope I can stay here for a while, reliving the fun things and not thinking as much about the bad times.
Though, as seeing one magpie means sorrow, I am concerned whether this is my moment of sorrow or if it’s still to come. Where I’m from we don’t really believe in nursery rhymes and we are a little more stoic but I’ve lived here for too long and now I am worried. Is there going to be more sorrow for me ahead or do I count up all the single magpies I’ve seen?
He text me today, to thank me for the card I sent him last week for Valentine’s day. Secretly I am glad he read it and liked it. It was true when I wrote and sent it but it’s not now. I miss him still, or at least I miss the company, but not enough to have him back, ever.
By the way, there were four single magpies altogether, does that mean there’s a new boy on the horizon? I doubt it but it’s fun to speculate.
Tomorrow is Valentine’s day and I’m so glad that I can sit this one out this year. Valentine’s is always a sickly sweet affair, feeling like you must spend a lot of money on your partner on one particular day otherwise you don’t love them as much as they thought.
I’ve been doing some research today and men seem to be the ones with the most pressure to get it right. What kind of card to purchase…romantic or other, which chocolate/flowers/teddy to buy shows the amount of love x the cash spent.
When did love become about the amount of gifts purchased? Is it not better to spend quality time with your partner throughout the year rather than pay over the odds for a tiny table in a restaurant and a preplanned menu of things that are made to sound romantic?
The most romantic thing ever done for me was being welcomed home, a hot bath ran whilst he cooked dinner then a relaxing evening in front of a film and an early night. That will stay in my mind for a very long time, the effort put in for my comfort and relaxation meant more to me than a bunch of overpriced flowers that will only die in a couple of days anyway.
So while you’re enjoying your new teddy, chocolates and card filled with some commercial crap and thinking of how much he/she spent on you, I will eating my own chocolate and watching my own film happy in the fact that I know how to make myself feel loved.